We all handle death differantly. There truly is no right or wrong. I remember having such a mass of emotions and thinking they were all bad. Any feeling a person has while dealing with death is not wrong. As long as you deal with the death you're doing good. Take help where you can. My best friends held me together. I cannot thank them enough. Of course my husband was great. But my friends did something he couldn't. He was morning the loss also. I hope you two know who you are, I won't put you're names here without asking first. They still will help pull me through the rough days. I can't always go to my husband when dealing with issues of Junior. I protect my husband, I don't want to see him hurt any more than he already does.

lll

It's been six years this year since I lost my little boy. Life has continued, sometimes barely. I think of him all the time. What would he be like at 9 yrs old? He has two little brothers he never met. I have given up hope of the afterlife. Been close but I haven't. My faith has brought me a long way. I remember the day after the accident his brother looked at me and wanted to know why we haven't gottem him yet, an angel came down, I beleive it was Junior, and let Ryan know he was ok. I felt the presence, can't really explain it more than that. I prayed and prayed to GOD to let me hold him and he came to me in a dream, running accross and jumped up and let me hold him. He said "GOD told me to hug you one last time". I hold onto that moment, if you want to call it a moment.

Junior

August 15, 2004
To my dear sweet son,
The day you were born you brought a feeling to me which I've never felt before. You were so beautiful. From that day on, you filled my life with such accomplishments. Your first steps, taking care of your new baby brother. You were the proudest of any boy I've ever seen. Fixing your trucks, playing in the dirt, helping dad build, chasing after your monster snakes, though I think you never caught one. Driving the backhoe with dad and your grandpas. Always working. You wanted so bad to be big. Going to school, going to work with dad, getting a dumptruck4wheeler. You were big. The biggest 3 year old I know. You accomplished so much in so little time. The world was never ready for such an ambitiuos guy. We will continue to love you, never forgetting. You left behind a brother whom you taught so much, from jump spankins to digging with your trucks, your mom and dad whom you taught true love, eternal love and pure happyness. Thank you for everything. We will see you again, I'm certain, when I don't know. Your laughter warms our home, and your smiles warm our hearts. I love you baby, I'm always with you,, and your always with me.
I love you very much, MOM